In a move that has sent tremors through the global asylum establishment, South Africa’s Constitutional Court has ruled that asylum seekers cannot lodge repeat applications. This is a decision that has left many a bureaucrat with a case of the vapours and a desperate need for a stiff G&T. As I sit here in a musty airport lounge, gin in hand, contemplating the absurdity of modern migration policy, I can't help but feel this ruling resonates far beyond the veld.

For years, the shadow of the UK's own asylum merry-go-round has loomed large. Migrants dancing the tango of paperwork, filing application after application, a process as circular as a roundabout in Swindon. South Africa's top judges have now declared a permanent 'no entry' to that particular carnival ride. They say: one shot, that's your lot. The implications for Blighty are as clear as a glass (or three) of Hendrick's.

Now, I've seen border policy stagger about like a drunk at closing time. Theresa May's hostile environment was less a policy and more a Victorian fever dream. But this South African ruling suggests a cure for the chronic limbo that plagues the asylum system. No more endless appeals. No more playing the system like a broken slot machine. It is the kind of decisive action that would make a Brexiteer weep with joy (if they had tear ducts that weren't made of pure ideology).

Of course, the usual suspects will wring their hands. 'What about due process?' they'll bleat. 'What about fairness?' I say fairness is a warm blanket for the comfortable. For the desperate, fair is a chance to be heard, once, properly. The rest is just theatre. And if this ruling teaches us anything, it's that the show must end. The UK, with its backlog of cases that would make a librarian weep, could learn a thing or two. Stop the madness. Give each case the attention it deserves, and then move on.

But let's not get too misty-eyed. South Africa is not without its own gilded hypocrisies. This court may be closing the door on repeat asylum, but the country still sits on a powder keg of inequality and xenophobia. The foreigners are always the first to be blamed when the economy goes sour. But at least they're honest about the need for finality. Unlike the UK, where we muddle through with a system designed by a committee of underpaid civil servants and over-caffeinated policy wonks.

So, what's the takeaway for a gin-soaked correspondent watching the rain streak the window of a airport bar? The world is changing. The old rules no longer apply. Asylum isn't a game of Monopoly where you keep passing Go and collecting hope. It's a desperate scramble for safety, and no one said it would be pretty. South Africa has drawn a line in the sand. The UK would do well to take note, perhaps while nursing a grim pint of warm beer and contemplating the irony of it all.

This is Biff Thistlethwaite, signing off. Now, if you'll excuse me, my gin is calling. And it's the only call I intend to answer tonight.