The BBC has done it again, the bloated bureaucratic bulldog of British broadcasting. This time they've busted a dog-napping ring in Uganda, rescuing dozens of slobbering souls from a life of forced servitude as pavement puppies. The suspect, a shadowy figure known only as 'The Man Who Sold The World (And Also Dogs)' has been collared faster than a greyhound at a Happy Meal.

The dogs, some of which were reportedly being sold for overseas puppy mills or worse, have been whisked away to a safe house where they will receive counselling for their trauma and possibly a bowl of Pedigree Chum. One can only imagine the existential dread of being a dog in Uganda: not only do you have to dodge the occasional hippo, but now you're being hawked to the highest bidder by a bloke in a bottle green blazer. The BBC's investigation, conducted with the subtlety of a sledgehammer to a Fabergé egg, has resulted in the arrest of the suspect and a hearty pat on the back for the beeb's undercover team.

Meanwhile, the dogs are reportedly 'cautiously optimistic' about their future, although they've said the gin selection in Kampala is 'abysmal'.